I threw a knife into heaven
hoping it would turn the sky blood red
looked up and said
come for me
come for me now
and you never did.
I danced through your storms
I bathed in your tears
until they washed away the thought.
what kind of coward hides
from the rage of a child?
what kind of animal turns on its young?
somewhere inside me I know
there's a piece of you
like a poison thorn
pushing into my heart
to let out your memory
one drop at a time.
somewhere inside me there’s a flaw
born of your failure
I see it in the shape of my scars
in the mirror of my eye
feel it in my teeth
and on my tongue
when i can’t bear to be loved,
but i can't be alone.
in the emptiness of night, for so long
I thought I could hear you whispering -
you will never wake again.
but always when I opened my eyes
you were gone.
like you had never been real
like you had never been at all.